Date: 2016
Pages: 238
Authors: Bobby Harrington & Alex Absalom
Why This Book Matters
Discipleship That Fits: The Five Kinds of Relationships God Uses to Help Us Grow is one of the most valuable books I have read on discipleship, particularly for anyone involved in leading or facilitating Christian gatherings or groups of any kind. The reason for the value is that the book introduces principles that I haven’t found anyone else discussing that make sense out of our experience in groups of different sizes and the functions of gatherings based on size. This can help us understand how to use a variety of gatherings to accomplish various biblical purposes and not get stuck on one-size-fits-all.
Core Message
Jesus was intentional about the size of groups he got together. He did this, seemingly, because different groups can yield different strengths and different results (the Bible never explains this overtly). Tiny groups of a few people can be more transformative than groups of thousands because the sharing at that small scale is more in-depth and personal. The book explains the five different size gatherings and how each one can be intentionally leveraged for making disciples today, just like Jesus did in his ministry.
The first two chapters define discipleship from a biblical perspective. This is invaluable before you get into the meat of the book so that you understand the terms they are using. Chapter three introduces the size dynamic principles. The next 10 chapters give 2 chapters per group size, which are the following from largest to smallest:
Public Context: These are gatherings in the hundreds and above. This is not about relational connection but it does allow one to communicate a message to the masses efficiently. This would be the Sunday morning “worship gathering” or “church”. Everyone together in the big room, distant from those who are speaking, teaching, leading singing, etc.
Social Context: Gatherings of 20-70. Jesus’ sending of the 70 in Luke 10 would be one example. Things start to get a little more relational. The lower end of this would include many home churches.
Personal Context: Gatherings of 4-12 are gatherings where more personal and sensitive information is shared. Some home churches fit into this category. Other times larger home churches fit when not everyone shows up and you find the gathering to be higher on sharing than normal. What can be discouraging (less people) is often a pleasant surprise at the quality of the gathering.
Transparent Context: Gatherings of 2-4. This would be Jesus, Peter, James and John. This allows deeper connection, deeper sharing and is more transformational on an individual level. This could be a discipleship group today.
Divine Context: You and God. This is seen when Jesus goes to pray to God by himself. If all we get is the big gathering and not alone time with God, our discipleship will suffer. Even Jesus, who was God, needed this.
The final chapter, chapter 14 answers common or anticipated questions about the material. The book ends with three practical appendices.
The big point is that no one context will do everything and that churches must seek variety and balance in how they go about operating. Each chapter applies these principles to modern traditional churches. While many readers here may not be part of modern traditional churches, I believe the concepts are strong enough and we can be creative enough to consider ways to enter into more contexts with regularity.
Key Insights & Takeaways
- There are five distinct group sizes that have been shown to have distinct advantages
- Jesus used these group sizes in his ministry and we can as well
- Discipleship isn’t one size fits all but needs a variety of size gatherings to be holistic
Strengths & Limitations
Strengths: The book is highly practical and applicable in just about any size Christian gathering you can imagine. It will help you rethink how you use various gatherings for maximum impact. It is also rooted in Jesus’ ministry and example! Think pathway, not program and think integration of activities and gatherings rather than discrete or disconnected gatherings. Gatherings of various size need to work together to accomplish all the discipleship purposes.
Limitations: I don’t think the book really has many inherent weaknesses other than for our purposes, it is not overtly a home church book. It could have a weakness in how someone chooses to apply it by being too legalistic about the numbers. The numbers are not a magical formula but they do reflect true principles that are wise to pay attention to. In other words, if you try to accomplish something in one size group that is meant for another size group, it may not work well and now you will understand why. This is why the invitation after the sermon in a traditional church rarely “works” because you are doing a transparent activity in a public context.
Home Church Application
This is another book written with the traditional church in mind and yet the message and principles still apply to home churches. If all you do is meet as the whole church (say 15-20 people) then there are some things that could be improved by getting intentional about your meetings. You might meet with several other home churches to create a larger gathering (public context) once a quarter or you might get in groups of 2-3 in order to have more transparent sharing. This book will help you understand how to make that work.
About the Authors
Bobby Harrington is a church planter and disciple making leader in Franklin, TN. He planted Harpeth Christian Church and also started multiple discipeship organizations including Renew and Discipleship.org. Bobby has authored many books on discipleship, but even more important than that, Bobby is a personal disciple maker.
Alex Absalom has served in ministry for over 30 years, starting out as a church planter in England. He and his wife Hannah founded Dandelion Resourcing, which helps leaders and organizations develop Christian supernatural culture in making disciples. Alex has also authored numerous books. The Absaloms are from England but are currently serving in the United States.
Related Reading
“The Disciple Makers Handbook” by Bobby Harrington and Josh Patrick
“Contagious Disciple Making” by David Watson and Paul Watson
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